The Connection with Jay Miralles
On 'The Connection' Jay Miralles connects his guests with the world! Listen as we connect the dots. Our goal is to get to the why!Jay Miralles was born first generation in San Francisco, California, after his parents arrived in America. He watched his immigrant parents work hard to support their family. Their actions and life lessons shaped who he is today. He learned first-hand how his parents’ work ethic allowed them to move from a basement in the Avenues to a middle-class suburb. As a teenager, he struggled in school with average grades and was easily bored with the norm or status quo. Jay questioned everything. He realized his independence was so important, he enlisted in the Air Force at the age of 17. His love for country grew rapidly, and he realized many things people take for granted. His deployment to places such as Alaska, Germany, and Saudi Arabia, and more, shaped his perspective on how the world is connected. After ten years in the Air Force, he decided to move to Omaha, Nebraska. Some of the early jobs that gave him valuable experience included ten years in radio, a background in information technology, and teaching at a local college. He also co-founded three professional networking organizations. Eventually, he found a niche in insurance/financial services and real estate. He quickly excelled in sales, which led to coaching and leadership positions. His background has prepared him well to speak on stage, conduct podcasts, author articles, and serve as a go-to for interviews. His passion is more than just inspiring people; it’s working closely with individuals and organizations to help identify the opportunities for them to make the best impact.Jay and his wife Becky are blessed with four children: Aubrey, Jade, Jordan, and Mason. They have a German Shepard named King and a Pekingese Shih Tzu Poodle mix, Chewy, who thinks he is the same size as King. They all call Nebraska, home.
The Connection with Jay Miralles
From Bullying to Breakthrough: A Family’s Fight for Their Son and the Hard Truths About Teen Mental Health PART 3 of 3
A teenager’s world narrowed to taunts, pressure, and a painful injury—then one snap nearly ended everything. We sit with Lisa and Will Cummings to trace the full story: an outgoing kid who wanted everyone’s friendship, the slow drip of bullying from kindergarten to high school, and the unseen weight of online gaming harassment that followed him into his room. What follows is unfiltered and human: the scramble to find a therapist who takes your insurance, the drug that makes things worse before anyone realizes, the school meetings and IEP, and two working parents trying to hold life together while staying present for a daughter who becomes a hero.
The crisis is stark. A sister finds her brother. A grandmother does CPR. A father arrives to “we’ve got a pulse.” Doctors warn of lifelong limits—no walking, talking, or eating on his own. Then the small miracles begin. A hand squeeze that isn’t “involuntary.” A whispered “Hi, Dad.” A first stand. Steps. And a move to rehab where a friend named Mason shows up with a football and a dose of normal. The darkness that marked the months before gives way to a gentler light as Will relearns how to eat, speak, and move, and his parents relearn how to breathe.
We don’t offer tidy answers. We share what helped: getting help without hesitation, pushing for a new medication when the first one failed, setting up school accommodations, and building a village that includes youth pastors, clinicians, and peers who show up consistently. If you’re a parent feeling behind, you’re not. Help-seeking is messy, and advocacy is a skill you practice under pressure. The only wrong move is doing nothing.
If this resonates, tap follow, share this with someone who needs courage tonight, and leave a review with one action you’ll take this week. Your story might become someone else’s map.
Thank you for listening to The Connection Podcast with Jay Miralles. Please subscribe and share!
WEBSITE
https://www.letsgo321.com
GET IN TOUCH
https://flow.page/jaymiralles
BUY MY BOOK
https://books.by/jaymiralles
PLEASE SUBSCRIBE
https://www.youtube.com/@jaymirallestheconnection
Connecting the dots. Connecting his guests to the world. Creating more connections. Welcome to the connection. Meet your host, author, coach, Air Force veteran Jay Morales.
SPEAKER_06:Thanks for joining us on probably one of the most impactful episodes I've ever spoken of. This is part three in the Cummings Family. And I want to address that. This is to encourage people to open up and talk about suicide ideation or ideation of hurting yourself or feeling depressed or blue, feeling not so strong mentally or struggling with your mental health. So keep that in mind as we go through Lisa and Will, good friends of the family. Lisa, your relationship with Peck, how long have you known Becky?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I was just thinking about that the other day. I think it's been like 25 years. We started at first data together.
SPEAKER_06:Do you remember the time that we were all at Heather's house? Heather and Mike's house, and we went to the cigar shop.
SPEAKER_03:You and I drove.
SPEAKER_06:You and I, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_03:Everyone's like, where'd they go?
SPEAKER_06:And I take cigars.
SPEAKER_03:I mean, I'd known you, like we had talked a couple of times and we're like, oh, let's go get cigars. And so we're just like people were like, Where'd they go?
SPEAKER_06:You know, literally, we just went to go get cigars because I wanted a cigar. So we've known each other. Will 10 years, you and I. I mean, Fresno, California, right? Okay, since you and it was 10 years. That's nuts, man. We you we've been through a lot together. You know, we've been through a lot, and I just want to get right into it, right? I can put all the details of who you guys are online, but I really want to get into this, and I I want to be very respectful with our conversation. So let's talk about this. What was your son like growing up? What was little Will like? You know, what was he like?
SPEAKER_04:Well, he was an he's an April Fool's baby. So uh he was born on April 1st, so he is he's the class plow, he's the jokester, you know, always always trying to make everybody laugh, yeah. It was a great trait, great quality.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he was born a month early.
SPEAKER_04:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So I did not want him to be born on April 1st. I was so disappointed.
SPEAKER_06:You wanted the May 1st baby.
SPEAKER_03:I he was so yeah, I was supposed to be born May 1st, and I'm like, let's I wanted to hold off just for one more day. But no, he he was ready to come out outside the world when he wanted to.
SPEAKER_04:But he thought it was a joke that when we told him he was born, like, yeah, we're not following for that April 1st, April.
SPEAKER_03:His sister specifically, because him and his sister play always played pranks on each other.
SPEAKER_04:So I had to take a photo of Will with the paper, yeah, you know, so that way she gets time stamp it.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, such a good memory around it. What was he like? Was he was he was he, what do they call it then? Hyperactive? Was he a hyperactive kid? Or what was he like when he was toddler-wise?
SPEAKER_03:He's a very well, he was very hyperactive, a very passionate child, very wanting to be everybody's friend. And he just wanted everybody to love him, even the even naughty kids, he was like, Those are that's gonna be my friend, you know? And we're like, Yeah, maybe not. But he's like, No, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:So he's always been an extrovert, like he was explaining to me. So there are kids that you know that just don't talk to anybody. Like I have friends who have kids who they're just very reserved, and you know, that's okay too. I'm not chastising. But then there's these kids who light up the world. Like, where in that spectrum was Will from closed off reserve to all the way like, what's up, y'all?
SPEAKER_03:He knew no stranger. Wow.
SPEAKER_04:So he would, you know, you any place where we would go, he he'd fit fit right in and talk to anybody and you know, try to make them laugh and you know, ask him a million questions. That's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_06:Very outgoing.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, very outgoing, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:I I think it's important that people understand, you know, who Will was, you know. So so let's take him to grade school now. Let's take him to first day of first grade. Do you remember any of those days or kindergarten or even, you know?
SPEAKER_03:So kindergarten was we were living in Madera, California, and it was a public school out there, and it was a very packed public school. Okay. And so William is that child where you he was that kid where you couldn't leave him to his own by himself. So I remember I got a call from the teacher and he cut his hair. Like he just took the decision in school. And I thought it was funny. So when a teacher is bringing and she had his arm like this, walking him, and he's just like going, you know, I mean, and I'm laughing because I'm like, I, you know, I've been waiting for one of my kids to do it, you know, because every kid, at least one one of your kids cuts their hair. And so the teacher was so upset with me. She's like, This isn't funny. I'm like, it's hilarious. So we just I knew, and then there's like some incidences that he was being bullied already starting in kindergarten.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, why do you think he was bullied? And and because remember, this was over 17 years ago, over 15, 12 years ago. Yeah, and and so let's talk about the word bullying. Okay, yeah, because again, when I was growing up, bullying was somebody was pushing you twice your size, and somebody was pushing you twice your size and and knocking you down.
SPEAKER_03:So that's essentially what was happening to him. So we what happened at in at that school was there was a kid and he was doing some things at home, just kind of I don't know, just not real aggressive, but it was just behavioral-wise. We were just kind of like, you know, he and then he had said some things like he was getting pushed around at school and stuff. So we just showed up unannounced to the recess to watch it ourselves because we felt strongly that the teacher wasn't doing enough, was not doing enough.
SPEAKER_06:Okay.
SPEAKER_03:So we, you know, with him in education, I always let him lead it. That's right.
SPEAKER_06:You know, an educator, he's more diplomatic talking to people.
SPEAKER_03:I'm the bulldog.
SPEAKER_06:We're gonna talk about that.
SPEAKER_03:So we kind of that's how we balance each other out.
SPEAKER_06:Yes.
SPEAKER_03:I think if you want to spin off of that, of what we saw.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, I mean, I think we saw, I mean, like you were talking about having more of the physical side of things. Will has always wanted acceptance. Um and and again, that's from his outgoing, he wants to be everybody's friend. And if somebody isn't accepting of him, he tries even harder to get that acceptance. So when we were observing the playground activities, he was really trying to get these attentions of these boys, and you know, they were kind of brushing him off. And so I could really see him just you know yearning for that from them. And you know at a young age. And I could see where in maybe they were getting annoyed with him, and they were you know, then that kind of led to that part of it, toward the pushing and hey, get out of here.
SPEAKER_06:Um unfortunately but it was give and take, I mean, both sides of it were absolutely kids who do stand out though are targets of just either jealousy, zealous, comparison. Because most kids aren't functioning as outgoing people. And when they do, I mean, they're going to be noticed, they're going to be picked on, praised, glorified, crushed, all the things, right? So, so let's talk about then the high school years. Bringing to the high school years. Well, I wouldn't even say going back to the middle school.
SPEAKER_04:Middle school is probably probably the the defining moments in a lot of this is where more of the bullying and the social media and just kind of the feeling like you have to be accepted by everybody came into play for him.
SPEAKER_03:Even the video gaming platforms and stuff, because he would we would have to go in and at that time Lana, our mother, my mother-in-law was living with us, so his the game room was right next to our bedroom. So we were able to hear, you know, things and when he would get upset and you know, he would cry because kids are just me.
SPEAKER_06:So there he was being bullied and and and harassed even online. And that see, we not we society overlooks things like this because every time I move my hands, it changes the camera angle. People don't realize the things that kids go through today because we're so busy that we don't have time.
SPEAKER_04:Well, it's completely different. So like I grew up playing video games. Like you know I got to had to, you know, Atari, Nintendo, all that stuff, even up to the first Xbox. And you know, it never used to be a thing where you would get online and play against other players.
SPEAKER_06:No, you would you would your your buddy Anthony would come by the house and you'd be like eating all your potato chips. Yeah. And that's where you would argue right there. You would talk trash to you know to the person next to you.
SPEAKER_04:Right, right next to you. But now when you have this online gaming aspect, I was thinking about this the other day. It's like, you know, there's so much more courage that some of these kids have to be even more vile and say things that you know. Even in that arena.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, even in that arena.
SPEAKER_04:There were a number of times where you know I would be walking by or just kind of in there hanging out with Will while he was playing, and somebody would say something like, you know, oh, you're trash at this, why don't you go kill yourself? Right. And that was language that people use because they're already playing a violent game. Right. And so immediately, you know, I would report them and things like that. Yeah, yeah. They get a ban for two days or whatever, and they're back in it. And they're back at it.
SPEAKER_03:Well, it just shows to you, like, and this is something that we've we try to instill in both of our children, is that there's such a disconnect when you're playing these video games, it's an emotionless tactic. There's no emotion. There was there's nothing, especially during COVID.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, COVID is where we feel like it doubled down on that. It doubled down on William because of the disconnect of interaction. Because he's a kid who's a touch field. That's his love language. He wants to be around people, he loves the embracing people, yeah. But with with social media and video games, and back to your point that we're so busy we're not trying to pay, you know, not that parents, and I don't want to come off that, you know, I know a lot of parents were all busy because we all are, but I don't want it to be that it was a bad parenting skill on anybody. Right. But at some point, we as parents had to figure out oh my gosh, how are we gonna get control of this?
SPEAKER_06:Well, some guys it's like we go through that too, you know. So it's not just you, we go through like every tell us.
SPEAKER_04:They love being online and playing video games, and yet it's such a part of so many of these kids' lives. It's the identity and the culture, you know.
SPEAKER_06:It is just as common as we riding 10 speeds back in the day. Yeah, no one's riding 10 speeds. I don't think a kid even knows what a 10 speed is, right? I mean, let's be honest, they they they oh, they have a mountain bike that they've ridden three times.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, we have that even in our garage.
SPEAKER_06:So reflecting, just even knowing middle school, and again, what looking back, it's easy to say here here's where the things that were jumping out. But as you're going through life, as two busy professionals, as a busy family, sports and this and events and networking and doing this, and and that's just life. That's everyone's life, right? I don't care, not all of our lives look the same, but life definitely has a busy feel to it. So now take me to high school.
SPEAKER_03:So high school, freshman year, so right before his freshman year, he was doing the football training and stuff during the summer. We would drop him off. So it was prepping him for the game.
SPEAKER_05:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:So he would FaceTime me very upset and he would be crying.
SPEAKER_04:I think a lot of it was, you know, he didn't ever really want to play sports prior to that. Yeah, so he was pretty far behind in his athletic ability, so he was getting better and trying, but the kids were really, really just cruel about him not being a good athlete.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, because he I mean, and he put a lot of effort in. He put a hundred and ten percent, if not more, in that kid just tried, but then he would it would deplete him because they would tell him, You're no good at this, you don't know what you're doing. And it was the older kids, and and I think it's just the alpha thing that kids do. Yeah, and I would tell him, you know what, you tell them where to go and you show them differently. You be the bulldog, you tell them. Yeah, and that's I I you know, I encouraged him to to compete. To compete. I'm like, just say, bring it on. I go, how do you think you're you know, your your mom says that? If I if there's something I don't know, I I say bring it on, I'm gonna learn it. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_04:He was doing a great job with it too. He was, you know, his level, his skill level was increasing and increasing and increasing.
SPEAKER_03:Weightlifting.
SPEAKER_04:And then he he got hurt in one of the football games where he went to make a tackle and landed on his knee and hobbled off, and he had fractured his kneecap. Oh, yeah. So when that happened, there's really there wasn't a lot that they could do for a fractured kneecap other than stay off of it. Correct. And so not played. So he was on crutches, and so he didn't have it wrapped or anything because there was nothing they could do for it while everybody was telling him he was faking it. And so then they were bullying him even more about oh, you're not hurt, you're just playing hurt, you're a baby, all this stuff. And you know, as you know, he was already getting it from the you know, the team from he wasn't the best on the team, but now it was hey, you're you're making this up and lying about it.
SPEAKER_06:Let me ask you this, okay, aside from the team. So you'd pick him up from practice or a game, and you know, some days they don't have great games or great practice. Sat in the back of the car, I'm sure, you know, when you guys picked him up or next to you. Do you ever remember the deafening silence, or was there any deafening silence ever? Or did he take it personally?
SPEAKER_04:Or no, he loved being out there, like he loved football. Yeah, but he, you know, that was the part where he loved being out there so much that the other part of it, you know, he just stuffed. Yeah. He never complained about it. You know, Kate, like you said, you know, when he would FaceTime Lisa, but yeah, yeah, you know, you'd say, Hey, how was practice? Great, awesome. Oh my gosh, it's so good.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Did this, did this, boom, boom, boom. Because you know, you have this syndrome lately of kids in general, you know, you can see the emotions of sports and the pressure of performance and the pressure of grades and clothes and cars and parties and and all the things, right? And you know, and and I will tell you that, you know, my own son watching Mason, you know, have a bad game, sit in the car, and this is not about him, but I this is about a lot of kids who just shut down. But he was Will was not shutting down.
SPEAKER_04:He was powering through. And it's you know, it was almost that false front.
SPEAKER_06:You know, he was putting on that, you know, that to appease you guys and appease everyone just to make sure everyone knows no one worried. Right, it's not a big deal. In a year leading up in his junior year, right? It was no freshman year, yeah. Sorry, and freshman year, was there any signs in that year that that stood out to you like beyond the other stuff, but like, oh my gosh, is there at risk where you thought no way, this is not gonna be, but what did you say?
SPEAKER_03:So so his there were signs that were starting to show. I mean besides him snapping some of his friends, some of his friends, it was he would have, and it was like this when he was little too, he would have complete meltdowns. Like if he didn't have his way with something like a video game, or if he couldn't, he could he wasn't processing, he had the inability to like be able to talk about his emotions of you know what, I'm feeling like you know, I feel I'm I'm upset because of this. No, he would just immediately, it was everything was reactionary for him, and it would take us like three days to get him off that ledge sometimes.
SPEAKER_04:Overs stimulation, nothing else could get processed in his own.
SPEAKER_03:It was so far up here that he would go to sleep, wake up, and it would start all over immediately.
SPEAKER_06:Right. There was no escape from it, it was just he was in that state.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it was just there was no survival mode, there was nothing. He was just like super heightened.
SPEAKER_04:And we would see stuff in in his text messages, like with you know, during these times during playing the video games, because again, the kids were all saying, Oh, you're trash and all this other stuff. And so the first time that I we really saw it was probably his eighth grade year toward the end of it. He had said something to his friends of I'm just gonna kill myself then. Because they were messing with him and telling him he's bad at Fortnite, and you know, he couldn't do that. He was really good at Fortnite, but you know, he just you know, he he lost a round, and so they were just you know telling him how bad he was. So he took that so to heart. And so that was the first time, and so I we I confronted him with Lisa about it and just said, Hey, like can you explain you know what's going on here? And he goes, Oh dad, I I would never do that. It's it's just something we say, and okay. So he expressed specifically like that. Yeah, what I was in the moment, I was pissed off, I was I did not, you know, yeah, they were just giving me a hard time, and I just said that out of out of just kind of a yeah, a rage to get a reaction from them. So so I was like, okay, I feel you know, I I couldn't buy that. Okay.
SPEAKER_03:And then the other time when we knew it was really serious when he brought up Halloween. So he actually had sent a snap to two of his friends on Halloween that night. And actually it was a it took a picture of our gun. And his friend actually went to his mom and I got a call the next day.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, so the mom reached out to you?
SPEAKER_03:No, reached out to 988. The it's the it's the suicide line.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, oh so they called the 988 and then said, Hey, I think something is happening. So we got a call the next day. How did that make you feel when that happened? Like, did you feel like were you mad at them? No, no, not at all.
SPEAKER_04:I remember it vividly because she came in and just like there was this this weight on her. And when she told me, it was just like what? There's nothing that prepares you to hear that.
SPEAKER_03:You feel helpless.
SPEAKER_06:You've been holding yourself back for a couple minutes now. I want you to really like I want you to be able to have a chance to express yourself right now.
SPEAKER_03:I felt like I failed him. You when he I always tell him this, we prayed for him and God gave him to us because we wanted to be parents so bad. So when you come to that moment of your son who you just cherish every little thing, every movement from the day he was born. And he you wonder why do you want to leave me? You know, so that's what I felt at that moment. And when we talked to him about it, and I remember him sitting on my little rocking chair, you could tell he was so just like, Oh my gosh, I have to talk about this. This is serious. He convinced us he would never do it. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_04:But we immediately We saw something different in him at that point to where it was he wasn't that bright. That wasn't that bright of a light light. No, it was it was more dark, yeah, and more just kind of somber. You know, he was trying to trying to express things and he couldn't.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Was he angry at you guys?
SPEAKER_03:A little bit.
SPEAKER_06:Angry for trying to know prod or horse. That's what I mean. That's what I mean. Angry to prod, angry that you're trying to reach out. He just didn't want to talk about it. Right. He wanted to shut down the conversation and move on.
SPEAKER_03:He yeah, he just was like, whatever. So the biggest thing was the difficult part is finding therapy is hard. Finding therapy that meets your insurance is hard. Finding insurance finding therapy you can afford is difficult.
SPEAKER_06:Finding the time.
SPEAKER_03:Finding the time, finding everything was hard. Finding a psychiatrist was hard. So I was blessed, and I don't remember how I came across our psychiatrist, but we got him into a psychiatrist immediately, and then it kind of just went from there.
SPEAKER_04:I think it was the next day. So that's on the day that we found out, yeah, either the next day or the day after we had him in seeing a psychiatrist.
SPEAKER_03:A psychiatrist. The therapist part was difficult because now it's finding someone who meets his personality who is it good for him.
SPEAKER_04:And so I had met with one and well it's the insurance, it's the scheduling, it's who's taking new patients on.
SPEAKER_06:There's eight different factors to get help. And and I I wanna I wanna highlight this. So so when someone says, you know, go go get some help, go talk to somebody. I want people to realize that it is a process, it is research, insurance, cost, time, personality, fit, discipline, it's 18 probably things before you find the right one. And and I think so many people just give up because they they can't go through that process. I won't go on hold for two minutes to order pizza. Do you understand what I'm saying? Let alone that's pizza.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_06:Do you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_03:Like so it is it's very daunting. I mean, it it was from that moment forward. I even after the incident, I um it being on the finding the right doctors that are just can, you know, you learn so much just for for a teenager, just to find for a teenager. There's not a lot out there for you know, kids, these kids who are suffering substantially on from a mental health perspective, of they just need someone to talk to outside of us.
SPEAKER_06:Well, you can't be at a dinner party and go, hey, Marge, what therapist do you use? Exactly.
SPEAKER_03:And to that point, Jay, not everybody talks about mental health.
SPEAKER_06:That's the part I'm even talking about because now Lisa, do you does your son see it? Why do they whisper like we're doing something bad?
SPEAKER_03:But we were those parents at that moment. So we were like when we got the therapist, and then he was starting to put on med, he was put on uh Prozac, we were like, Don't tell your friends. We were those parents, we're not like that now. But then it was like we didn't want because he was dealing with so much bullying, we didn't want the impact of him being judged even more.
SPEAKER_06:So we thought Oh, yeah, now you're on meds because you can't like and the word letter P, did you say Prozac? Yeah, right. People take Prozac, or you know, are you creative? Yeah, are you creative? Are you are you are you about to snap? And and so this is your chance to normalize a bit of that. Yeah. I want you to look into that camera. And and and there's a mom right now who is like, I no one in our family's ever had this problem. We're all high achievers. Like, what do you say to them?
SPEAKER_04:Don't be ashamed of it. No, I was I was anti-meds, you know, like we know we talked about getting Will on, you know, some sort of you know ADHD drug, and I was completely against it. In hindsight, I should have been more open to that. Now, my purpose is to be able to make sure everyone understands that this needs to be a discussion, but that is an open, maybe even a dinner table discussion to where it's not anything you should feel bad about. You're this is just what happens, this is where we are.
SPEAKER_03:There's nothing to be ashamed of to take care of yourself and to be an advocate for your kids. Let you know, take them to if you don't like the doctor that you went to, if you don't like those answers, it is okay to do your own research and it's okay to ask those questions and challenge your doctors.
SPEAKER_04:Find another doctor.
SPEAKER_03:Find another doctor because there's nothing wrong with that, because you want to make sure you get the right meds for your ch children, the right med meds for yourself. And if you don't feel right, challenge them, challenge your psychiatrist.
SPEAKER_04:And that was the challenge with the meds as well was that everybody reacts different to different medications. Prozac was not good for Will.
SPEAKER_01:No.
SPEAKER_04:And as he was on it, we started seeing him go down a darker path. Like it it wasn't helping, it was getting worse. Was this this was still leading up to Yeah? So this was so October, you know, so early November, he was put on, we he got on to Prozac. Okay, and then we were trying that out for a month or so, I guess two, three months, and we we actually called a doctor and and said, this isn't working for him. We need to have something different. You challenge what the doctor was. That was what probably February. It was towards the end of end of January, early February.
SPEAKER_03:Because around that time we were also working closely with the school psychologist.
SPEAKER_06:So there's a whole team of people. There's a whole team.
SPEAKER_04:It's not just a therapist, it's not just a doctor, it's not just the school, all the administration knew every we were getting a village around him to try to because we knew that this was serious.
SPEAKER_03:And then his grades were going down. So we got him, we're getting him on an IEP program as well.
SPEAKER_06:What's what does that mean?
SPEAKER_03:Can you tell him?
SPEAKER_06:Individualized education plan. What does that mean? It's it's custom to him. Yep.
SPEAKER_04:So everything that you know, because again, some kids with learning disabilities may need additional time or a quiet space to take a test. So these are all the accommodations that they were putting in place for him. So that way, you know, if somebody got done with the test first and he's still over there, he's not thinking that you know people are judging him for being slow or that's you know, you're a double and that's part of Trust me.
SPEAKER_03:I I was there as a kid, but and at that time we found out he had ADHD.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, yeah. So it was true diagnosed ADHD.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, so that's where it was all starting to align at that point. So we're now we're at this point, we're going and his grades were still failing and everything, and he was wanting to be with his friends over his homework. So then we started it was the week before the incident is when we started having all these meetings and stuff with the school counselor was in there, psychologists, just a plethora of teachers.
SPEAKER_06:So this was a week before the incident.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, it was probably the Friday before that it was actually the Friday before we all met, because the then that following Tuesday is when it happened.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, so we thought we were making good progress. Yeah, we thought we things were starting to align, you know, he was buying into it. You're doing everything that a parent can do, everything your responsibility, you that the best resources. I'm sure you had your arms around him, you know, hugged it even tighter, and then Tuesday happens.
SPEAKER_04:We were at the point where we weren't even leaving him alone. Like he was never left alone from the time October 31st when the next day we got the call, he was not left alone. It's hard to live like that for you too, right?
SPEAKER_03:We were living in fear.
SPEAKER_06:Can I ask what it did to you? Did it strain your marriage? Did it for sure.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. You know, because you know, you know, you're trying to to find the best result for you know your child. And you know, your idea might be this, and you know, her idea might be something different, and you know, you're just you're throwing things up. Family doesn't mean you agree on every single thing. So in you know, if I if I you may not like it, and she may not have liked what I had to say, or if I was you know sniffy about you know something back, it's you know, it does put a strain on it.
SPEAKER_03:We were maxed out.
SPEAKER_04:Because you're just worried.
SPEAKER_03:Not maxed, I don't want to say maxed out, but we were pretty close on our stress levels.
SPEAKER_06:It had to be. It had to be. I mean, if your kid has a broken finger, you stress out and you hope the finger heals well. This is bigger than a broken finger. You know, take me back to what life was like, and and the reason why I'm doing this is because I want someone to identify and say, shoot, why are we wasting our time when we could be strengthening, right? Like, was there time wasted between you two? Like at just wasteful thoughts of anger.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_06:I'm sure there was. I think so. It was such a whirlwind. And I'm not trying to play counselor right now.
SPEAKER_04:I'm just what I'm trying to do is it's really, it's really hard to pinpoint for me anyway, because I felt like I was living in a whirlwind. Like I didn't know what was up, I didn't know what was down. All I knew was the terror of losing your kid.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, your baby.
SPEAKER_04:And it's hard to put into that perspective because I'd never experienced it before.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, you don't know what to do.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's not there's no playbook that you just you know follow and say, Oh, yeah, all you gotta do is this, this, this, and everything's good.
SPEAKER_03:And Will and I are like we're playbook individuals. Like when I was pregnant, you know, you have that book that you read to what to expect.
SPEAKER_05:Oh, what to expect when you're expecting. Yes. And I'm I like to meet the author.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I read it, he read it, yeah, and we're like, okay, you need, you know, and this, and that's just how. How we've I mean, not so much anymore, but we're very, we're very structured.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, oh structured, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, and that's like we prepared for it. We're just we prepare. I mean, we've always looking ahead and everything. So when you have a situation where you can't look ahead and you're trying to look ahead, but it's dark, you see, I mean you know nothing, and you know it's I it's just a demon that is inside my kid. And how do you pull that out of a kid?
SPEAKER_04:And then you know, you're dealing with you know, it's you say, Hey, were you able to get a hold of any therapists or any of this? Nope. And so, like, you know, it's you know, time is precious when you're you know faced with something like this, and it's like like I don't know what else to do. 740 at night when you're having these conversations like you get busy and you know we both were are working. Yeah, yeah. It's like, hey, did you call them this morning? No, I was pulled into a meeting and yeah, whatever, and that's more pressure and stress.
SPEAKER_03:And and we also have our daughter, yeah. So we have all our energy. We're not trying not, you know, we have to put all our energy into William, but we also have to give our energy to our daughter so that way she's never left out of anything. We to, you know, you always want to embrace both your kids, but there's always one child at at a moment, and it's and when I say a moment, a moment is such elongated word if since it could be a moment for six months to a year. It's and you have to remember and and say, Oh my gosh, Mackenzie come here. Yeah, I love you.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah, you know, you do.
SPEAKER_03:I you know what, honey, I know we're focused here, but we love you. And that's something that you have to make sure that you know, because other kids and this and this is I I I feel for parents because when you're dealing with a kid or a significant other with the mental illness, your children are not purposely forgotten.
SPEAKER_01:Right.
SPEAKER_03:We just some your brain can only hold so much, you know.
SPEAKER_06:I agree with that. And that goes with any that goes with a grocery list. Yes, that goes with job responsibilities, that goes with packing your items, it goes with forgetting your keys where they are. How can you keep life together under the stress? Especially under stress when you go on vacation and your brain is jumbled, that's one thing. But when you're going dark in your life and you're being challenged, how do you function, right? I I want to enter this next part carefully, okay? Again, this is not for the shock and on sensation. Two Tuesday comes and you got a call, I'm sure. And we don't need to relive every moment, but speak as you're comfortable.
SPEAKER_03:And we're okay with reliving now. Yeah, we're okay.
SPEAKER_04:I mean that that's again, like I said, our our mission in all of this is to be there for other people that you know are going through something similar.
SPEAKER_03:And we're still, I mean, because I know for myself I'm still healing from it, but the more I talk about it, the more I heal. So I he just so happened. And again, I and I'm putting this out there, this is all God. This is nothing to do with anything. God aligns everything for you when you least expect it. So everything's always they owe you, everybody always says this in God's timing. This this is so true in so many aspects. So he just so happened to have a hair appointment that day because Will and Big Will and his little will go to a certain, you know, somebody that they got like to go to. And Nana was in town for his birthday. And so I was at work and he was at work, and my kids actually uh at a networking.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, you were golfing. No, I was just at a networking.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, that's right.
SPEAKER_04:And so I I had planned to tape Will to get his haircut and had to leave by you know five o'clock. I looked down, it was 5'10. And I said, Oh man, I'm we're gonna be a few minutes.
SPEAKER_03:Mackenzie was blowing up both of our phones.
SPEAKER_04:So I called, well, first off, I called Will to say, Hey, be ready to go when I get there. We're gonna be coming in. I'm gonna come in hot, we're gonna go. And didn't answer. So I called Mackenzie and said, Hey, where's your brother? I need you to go tell him that he needs to be ready when I get there. She was not answering you. And she did. She answered. Oh yeah. Okay, because she So this is what sparked her to go look at.
SPEAKER_03:And I have no idea what's going on. I'm at work.
SPEAKER_04:So she'd mentioned You don't even know. Don't even work.
SPEAKER_03:I yeah, I sorry to interrupt you. I never worked late. I usually but left at a certain time every day, but I decided to work late that night for some reason.
SPEAKER_04:So Mackenzie mentioned that she had uh was looking for Will. So I had sparked that by calling her and saying, Hey, I need you to go find Will and tell him that he needs to be ready. So as I'm driving, I'm on the phone with a client talking over some things, and Mackenzie calls me. And so I was like, I'll just call her back. And so then she called again, and I was on the, you know, I was almost home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was almost home, so I was like, oh, let's talk to you, talk to you when I get there. And then she I was driving and I and I saw a fire truck pull into our neighborhood. And so this was, you know, I'm on 168th, heading toward uh queue, and it was a ways down there, so I wasn't thinking anything. And then I I turned the corner into our subdivision and I see the fire truck at my house. Well, my mom was there, so I thought at first something happened to my mom. And then as I'm parking and pulling up, they're wheeling Will out on a stretcher. And the first thing I heard was, we got a pulse, Dad. And so my mind is just I don't even know what's happening right now. And I didn't know anything. And then Mackenzie came out and said, Will tried to take his life. And so as I'm processing all of this and trying to figure out where they're taking him, and I knew that I had to call Lisa, which is okay, take a moment. Hardest call I've ever had to make in my life. Again, nothing can prepare you for that.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:You called her.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:She answered the phone.
SPEAKER_03:And I was like, What's going on? Why isn't it? Because I thought the kids were arguing because I never work late.
SPEAKER_04:I called her, I said, Hey, you have to get down to children's right now. We'll try to take his life. That was the exact words, just like that. We have to get down there. It's us.
SPEAKER_03:And I just screamed. I screamed. There are people in the office, and all I said was no. I said, No, no. So I got in the car, I called my boss, told him I'm not gonna be in for a while. I told him I happen, and I screamed. I screamed at God the whole time. But the thing about God is he's so good because he's like at some point he was like, Lisa, because I'm like, that's my son, and you will not take him from me. He said, Lisa, he was my son first, and so we and then I just I became a little bit more peaceful for some reason because God just resignated in me. And so I just started praying. I started praying. I'm like, you know, you just pray. And I called my niece, who God bless her, she dropped everything to come be with our family, and she's like, Lisa, it's gonna be okay. And I'm like, how does she know? How do you know? Because you don't know. And I get there and I try to get out of the car. I left the car running, and I I remember running back, and then I was running. And I this older gentleman stopped and he says, How can I help you? And I said, My son's here. I said, Well, Cummings, I need my son and the paramedics. He came out and he hugged me and he says, Mom, we have a pulse. He's gonna be fine. And I'm like, How do you know? You know, and you're trying not to be angry because you don't know. Anger is so where we go first, and that's not what God wants us. He wants us to lean into him. And it was I was trying so hard at that moment, but I couldn't, we were so clouded. And I remember running, running through the doors, and you go and you look over at your son with a million people around him, and I started screaming and I said, devil, you will not take my kid today. Satan, he is not yours, he's mine. And I just was screaming at I just repeated it over and over. And then there's a chaplain who was so sweet, and then he walked in and was praying with us. And I I didn't, I just I felt out of control at that point, but I just kept praying, and that's what we did from that moment on. We prayed. We just prayed, and then we were upstairs as I waited. I paced and waited for us. And there was this other chaplain that came that looked like Jesus, like Nisa, and he was super amazing.
SPEAKER_06:He looked like Jesus, never saw the guy again.
SPEAKER_03:Never saw the guy again, but he was with us.
SPEAKER_04:He was with us the entire time until we went in with Will. And then we never saw him. We asked for him, we asked about him.
SPEAKER_03:But I talked to Becky and then Aileen.
SPEAKER_04:When did you call Becky?
SPEAKER_03:The moment we got upstairs. I talked to Aileen because I was supposed to meet with the girls that night. And Becky, her, all of them. And then Becky called. That's right.
SPEAKER_05:That's right.
SPEAKER_03:Then Becky calls me, and you know, it was such a village, you know, because I didn't believe in villages until I'm we're surrounded by some amazing people. And you know, Becky started that meal train for us, and then you know, everybody just came together.
SPEAKER_01:It just don't even remember.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, she just ran with that, and it was just Angela, everybody said ECS, everybody just chipped in together. But we are, you know, nothing prepares you when you go in to see when you go to see your son and you finally get to go in there. It's crazy.
SPEAKER_04:It took a long time too to get in there hours because of the incident and what had happened. You know, the police are doing their investigation. They're asking you guys all the time. They didn't even talk to us. They talked to us when we were first at the house, but when we were at the hospital, it took us probably over an hour, maybe closer to an hour and a half, to get into the room with him.
SPEAKER_03:Like eternity.
SPEAKER_04:They had to do they're still doing their investigation. They were getting him all prepped and everything, and then before we got in there, the police had to go in and do their finish their reports.
SPEAKER_06:If it's okay, I want to fast forward to the doctor sitting down with you or the team with the nurses or whoever. What was the bad news? Were they like, hey, I need to tell you something?
SPEAKER_04:Well, they're doing all kinds of tests, you know, from the get-go. And so one of the tests we which we had to wait for for the next day, or maybe later that day, I can't remember, was just an MRI on his brain, because that was the concern you know, with was how long was he deprived of oxygen? And we were estimating it between five to eight minutes because his last post he posted something on Snapchat at five o'clock saying basically what he was going to do. Goodbye, world, and then by the time that McKenzie found him and they got him.
SPEAKER_03:It'd been around like almost like almost like ten minutes, actually. So we don't know how long we don't know how long from the time he sent that snap to then tried.
SPEAKER_06:I mean, that's a long time, you know, and again, I I'm not a medical professional by any means, but back to the feeling of hey, mom, dad, what were they telling he's not gonna walk, he's not gonna what was he telling you he wasn't? What were they telling you that he wasn't gonna be?
SPEAKER_03:I forget the name of it, but it's like an umbilical cord on a baby. So they we were essentially told that he's never going to because due to the suffocation of you know not breathing, he's and it was like back here. It's I got a medical term, just yeah, that he's never gonna eat, he's he's not gonna be able to walk, talk, eat, or anything again on his own. On his own.
SPEAKER_06:Okay, so at that moment, they gave you that news.
SPEAKER_03:I didn't accept it.
SPEAKER_04:But it's you know, it's one of those things where you know your whole brain, your mind is in shock. Yeah, like you're like, okay, yeah, what? Yeah. It's it's it's disbelief and you know, it's trying to figure out what the next steps are.
SPEAKER_03:And we were we were trying to like put together what what we might need for our house and stuff, but I I didn't you were already I'm like, I'm not gonna accept this.
SPEAKER_06:But in your mind, you're preparing for that.
SPEAKER_04:So I was always I was already thinking I needed to do uh concrete all the way around my house if we need to have him in the basement. And you know, this is just amazing.
SPEAKER_03:So by day three, he was breathing on his own and stuff. So they start going around, the doctors start feeling to take the tube out.
SPEAKER_06:Oh, Will told me to ask you about this, or or Mackenzie said day they said they were gonna take it out, but they didn't.
SPEAKER_03:And you said No, you're taking it out. He left me, it was a Sunday, and he said, Be nice.
SPEAKER_04:He I'm not laughing.
SPEAKER_03:No, it's no, but I I know you're old.
SPEAKER_04:I know you. But it's better. There's there's a better story to this.
SPEAKER_03:Tell it to day three, because like he was squeezing our hands because the doctor's like he has to show us motion that he can hear us. Well, I I want to just back up a few steps here because I actually what I did is I called our church and I talked to one lady, and then I called James, which is his youth pastor.
SPEAKER_04:We got a text saying, Hey, excited to see you guys at Switch tonight. So this was the next night. So Tuesday, Wednesday was switch. So excited to see you guys at Switch. So we sent a text to James, Brian, and Tommy. Yeah, explaining.
SPEAKER_03:No, no, I called James. I didn't send the text yet.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, first.
SPEAKER_03:I I called him from Will's phone, and you know, he's like, Hey, because they were because at the time it was like football season, you know, it's football season, they're all putting their names of who they or the teams that they want and stuff like that. And I was like, James, this is Lisa. I go, I have something to tell you. So he dropped everything, and that was a Thursday that's like in Louisville or something. He was at a basketball tournament with his face. He dropped everything and he drove there. And between him and Brian and Tommy, that kid would light up when they would come in the room. He hadn't even opened his eyes at that point, wasn't acknowledging people. And here comes James, he heard his voice and opened his eyes and acknowledged him. So we prayed at that moment. So that's when we started calling on people, his sister, my sister, our family.
SPEAKER_04:We had like all the prayer warriors, all the prayer churches.
SPEAKER_03:Like Emily reached out to like there was like she said like 700 churches. We had the entire Christian unity just came in as a stronghold because they would they James prayed over him immediately. So that's when I knew me not accepting his diagnosis. I'm like, it's in God's hands. Yeah, I even told the doctors your science terminology, whatever you got, your medical terms mean nothing to me.
SPEAKER_04:I don't care about that.
SPEAKER_03:I don't, I told a whole like five or six of these women standing there, and I go, I don't accept this. And I would walk away.
SPEAKER_06:Hey, doctors, your education's no good here. Not for me. I get it.
SPEAKER_03:You know what I mean? Because I'm like, this is God, and they would kind of go, you know, good thing you're praying. I'm like, no, it's I'm praying. And we would we prayed over him morning, noon, and night.
SPEAKER_04:One doctor in particular just kept saying, you know, because we they were trying to, you know, see whether he was responsive. And you know, he would squeeze my hand, I would I was like, you know, talk to him, he'd squeeze it, and they're like, Oh, it's involuntary. And I said, No, it's not. I know when my son's squeezing my hand. They were telling you that it was just just yeah impulses, yeah, brains and neurons firing, and it's just happening.
SPEAKER_03:So he left.
SPEAKER_04:James left.
SPEAKER_03:He left. So this is a few days after we got prayer warriors and everything going on. And I'm like, okay, so he's acknowledging us. And she's the doctors would go, Well, well, he's not acknowledged because they reach in. No, he's not. I'm like, no, no, no, you don't understand. He's pulling it out today. And she was like arguing with me. And I said, Listen, this is what you're doing today. I don't care what you're saying, but we're doing Sunday. It was on a Sunday. I said, We're pulling it out, and that's it. Because once you do that, my kid is gonna thrive. And I walked out and then I came back, and there's another doctor, so then I lost it again. Now I I wanted to say so much more, but I didn't.
SPEAKER_06:But I did issues with what you were doing, like to say we won't hold you in harm or no.
SPEAKER_04:They just thought it was better for him not to have that off.
SPEAKER_03:So what she's one doctor said, Well, if if he doesn't respond to it, we're gonna have to put it back in it, can make it worse. I said, No, it's going to be fine. I know my son. So they we took it out.
SPEAKER_04:So Mackenzie and my mom and I were at church that morning. We went to the early service. And you were there by yourself. She was at the hospital by herself. He told me to be nice, and so you know, this is you know, 9:30, 9 o'clock, maybe, yeah, about 9:30 when we get out. And so I'm calling her to tell her that we're on our way. Hey, we're on our way, you know, whatever. And so phone picks up here. Hi, Dad. I don't speed, but I was cruising down Dodge and just to get there as fast as I could. You heard your son's voice.
SPEAKER_03:And then he wanted ice, and I wasn't supposed to give it to him, but I'd bring it to him whenever he wanted.
SPEAKER_04:So for him to not be able to walk, talk, do anything, we already got the talking in there. And he's alert, he knows that's the first who we were.
SPEAKER_06:He knew you recognized like because parts of his memory are are forgotten or just he doesn't really know some of it. Yeah, they can tie together because there is brain injury, right? Yeah. Yep. Okay, so he says, Hi dad, because you are obviously holding the phone. When did you know things are gonna be okay?
SPEAKER_04:So it's just those little glimmers of hope, right? You know, you're you know, you're told the worst, you know, and again, I've said, hey, if my kid never walks again or I don't care, you know, whatever, he's talking, like we can have a conversation.
SPEAKER_03:So within five days, by the fifth day, roughly, they moved him from ICU down to the next floor. I I think either uh I can't remember if it's up or whatever, but they were gonna start, you know, slowly with his physical therapy. And when he said earlier about hugging me, he he just stood up.
SPEAKER_04:What?
SPEAKER_03:He just stood up.
SPEAKER_04:They were trying to get him ready to go to do physical therapy with him, and so he stood up and just hugged Lisa.
SPEAKER_06:He was not supposed to walk, he was not supposed to talk nor eat. You were thinking of porn concrete already.
SPEAKER_04:So they were just having him do like standing up with support and help. So he was standing up, sitting down, that stuff, and then they were gonna try doing some steps. And so she had left to go home and get some rest, and I was with Will, and they were they said, Hey, we're just gonna do some standing up, we're gonna maybe walk to the bathroom or try that. I said, Okay, that's fine. I'm gonna go get coffee. So I went down, I had scooters, went grabbed some scooters, and uh came upstairs, and as I'm entering the hospital wing, that and that floor, I look over and there he is walking, just trucking, just going to town. And they're like lopsided, or he was you know, his his balance was off.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he had no balance still.
SPEAKER_04:They had it so he had a one of the belts on, so they had him. He was still walking, but he was walking on his own, and you know, he just looked at me and I was like he couldn't really talk either at the moment.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, because the the voice box, I think, or the blaries.
SPEAKER_03:His vocal cords, vocal cords, I think damaged vocal cords too, which base I would never repair, which will repair in months, a matter of a couple months.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, because I remember you know, us coming to Madonna, you know, I want to bring us to a better part of light here. Just this is pretty heavy. I mean, we have the story and perspectives, but what has it done for both of you?
SPEAKER_04:Well, it's definitely, I think, renewed my faith more. You know, I I was definitely in a sp in a spot where I was questioning a lot of things. Sure. And just you know, I'm I'm a very analytical person and like I need evidence. No, I need evidence, I need things that make sense. And so, you know, some of the things just didn't make sense. And you know, it the only way, you know, that any of this really is where it is today is because of God.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. I mean, you know, God, God's funny too. He actually humbles you. The lady, the doctor that I yelled at, I mean, I screamed at her. I was screaming, I didn't cuss, I was screaming, I was So there's no like thank you cards on the or get what cards from the hospital for you.
SPEAKER_04:No, let's the doctor said something to her, and she says, You don't get to talk because you were wrong about all of these things.
SPEAKER_06:Wow. Okay, I'm only laughing because I know Lisa. Lisa, okay, you don't get to say it again.
SPEAKER_03:You don't get to talk. However, let me get back to God's.
SPEAKER_06:This is within a circle with all of the doctors. Yeah. So they're everybody's like, whoa. What was his reaction?
SPEAKER_03:She just like, I made her cry. I upset her. So here's how God's funny. And I want everybody to know how God humbles you and brings you to back. So the next when we're in now, we're on this other level, and I get a flat tire. I hit a pothole. It was winter, it's cold, and no, I did not want to change my tire. I'm like, I gotta get in. So I pull the car in and I look over, and I see I see somebody in a car next to me, and I'm like, you know, oh, who's that? Oh, that, oh, that looks like that doctor. So I just get out of the car, I call him for him to go.
SPEAKER_05:Oh no.
SPEAKER_03:So I'm in the room with my son, and he's sleeping at the time, and here comes that doctor. The one that I told, you will not talk. And she gives me a piece of paper and she says, You must have hit the same pothole as I did. So here's a phone number for you to call to get your tire replaced. And so she sat down next to me and I'm like, God, I am not apologizing. So I just I looked at her and I said, I go, Do you have any kids? She goes, Yeah, I have a baby. And I said, You will always know your kid. I said, So when a mom tells you to pull that tube out because she knows her kid's gonna thrive, I said, You should listen to her.
SPEAKER_06:I go, You said that in that moment again?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, I said, because I go look at my son, yeah, and she goes, I know, I can see that. I go, he's thriving. And after all of that, it just but it humbled me to forgive her, yes, too.
SPEAKER_04:We just kept seeing Will level up. So you know, once once he stood up, once once the two came out, and then he stood up, and then you know, there was so many just benchmarks day like day in, day out. And then they said, He's doing all the stuff that we can do here, so he needs to go to Madonna. Madonna, and that's where enter Mason. And Will had to he had to learn to walk all over again. He had to learn how to eat, everything had to be relearned after, you know, just what eight days, seven days, eight days in Madonna.
SPEAKER_03:We're there for so we were in children's for 13 days total, total, and um but you know, I was told by our psychiatrist that the doctors at children's were amazed by him.
SPEAKER_04:Like he was They said that typically when they see kids that have had his injury, it's months, six months before they're out of it. What you guys are telling us.
SPEAKER_03:It was like supposed to be another six to nine months before we could be where he was at walking out of Madonna.
SPEAKER_04:I mean, and so that's why we you know we talk about God, you know, like I can't explain it other any other way.
SPEAKER_06:I just remember being part of the story, right? Just part of the I remember walking the halls, I remember what it smells like in there. I remember where I parked, and I remember parking crooked and I didn't even care. I remember seeing you guys in the window of that first room that you guys were in. I was like, oh, there they are. I was going to the wrong exit, and Mason's like, Where are we going, Dad? You know, and but Mason's gonna watch this, and and and this is probably more for him, this next part, but and it's for the kids who surround good kids like your son, right? Is there something you want Mason to know about the part that he might have played in Will's social part of his life?
SPEAKER_04:Or yeah, I mean, you know, Mason, you're there for him, man. Like he was he always looked forward to you coming and visiting, you know. He said, Hey, Mason's gonna come by. You know, the rest of his day was so boring with doing all of the other, you know, hey, you know, here's how to put your fork up to your mouth. You know, he was just so happy to have that interaction with one of his buddies. So thank you for for being there for Will.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I I the thing about Mason, which I loved, and the videos are on our Facebook, but he just he wasn't daintily with Will. He just, come on, let's go throw a football. And he was patient and so sweet and so funny. And both kids were there. I mean, Kinsey was having fun, and all three of them just watching them together. And Will, it made Phil Will feel like a normal kid, a normal kid again, you know, and that was that was we're like, okay, we've got we've got more milestones.
SPEAKER_04:We've got another great. I don't even think at that point Will so you know, a lot of the memories like you mentioned, you know, he didn't remember me. He didn't he didn't know he didn't know why he was in there. Yeah, oh he didn't even know why he was at dawn. We you know, we went through a lot of counseling and therapy with the staff there of you know, we had to tell him what happened. I do remember that. And that was a hard piece too, because you know, when when you have he he was a completely different person from what he was before. The darkness was gone, the there was so much light in him, he was just free as a bird.
SPEAKER_06:But that traumatic event had probably, like you said, was a catalyst for change and killed every demon that he had.
SPEAKER_04:So when you know when when you're thinking that you have to tell him about what had happened, you know, you're does this send him back down that that that spiral again.
SPEAKER_03:And it didn't.
SPEAKER_04:And it didn't. And so when we told him, no, I think he was shocked himself.
SPEAKER_03:He got up and he hugged his nonna and his sister and said, I'm so sorry I put you through that.
SPEAKER_04:And then they were like And my mom's not here to be in this podcast, but she she and Mackenzie were the real MVPs of all of this.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, you know, absolutely finding him, you know, the you know, getting him down and doing CPR, like they they were and I just want and I just want to I want to put out just another God moment in that moment when they were saving him. Lana couldn't get you know, she had bad knees, bad hips, whatever. Yeah, I know. I know her, I know her. She's like, I don't know how I did it, and I said it was God. She it wasn't the it wasn't I always thought it was the paramedics that got a pulse. No, the paramedics told us it was Nona because of what she did, yeah. Her him CPR and she didn't then CPR it like whenever and no one does no one does CPR and all of a sudden it just all trained 20, 30 years ago. Yeah. I know.
SPEAKER_06:You know, to to land this, what gives you hope when you look at your son today?
SPEAKER_03:I he's I just tell him he's God's miracle, and you know, he's a true testament of what God can do for you, can do for anybody. I mean, he not many moms get to sit here like I do, you know, when they lose their son or daughter and my heart breaks for them. But I think for me, he just encourages me to give it all to God, even in my worst moments or you know, most stresses or whatever. I mean, he's got a whole life ahead of him, and that is amazing, and I'm proud of that. You know, to spend time with his sister and grow old with his sister when we're gone. I mean, that is something that I've always wanted them to always be close, and they've always been close, but now it's like they have a they have a really relationship.
SPEAKER_06:Well, they even admit it both of them on camera, so they talk to each other on about stuff they don't talk to you about, which is good.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm okay. Yeah, yeah, I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_04:You know, and and you're with him, it's you know, he's he was in a position where you know he he wasn't gonna walk or talk or do anything again. And and you know, you saw him you know giving his testimony up on stage in front of a bunch of Oh my god, you sent me the video too.
SPEAKER_06:By the way, you need to learn how to operate a camera.
SPEAKER_01:No way I I could edit it for you.
SPEAKER_06:I could edit it. But but you know, I mean, reflecting, you know, really this is probably very critical. I'm and we'll close it out with this. What message would you give to parents who feel like they don't know what left to do or they feel like they can't reach their child? What would you say to do? What's the action? What's the next action?
SPEAKER_04:Like if you don't know what to do, I mean that's you know, that's one of the reasons why we're so open about talking about this. We're on Facebook, you know, reach out, send me a a private message. You want to get my phone number from Jay, feel free. Yeah. You know, I don't want anybody to have to go through what we did. And if you are, know that there's people that have been through it and that will support you. Again, you it doesn't need to feel like you're on an island. We've we felt that. We felt like we had to recreate the wheel and you don't have to. You don't have to. There are so many people and and again it it's not talked about. If people are you know, maybe ashamed of it, we're not ashamed.
SPEAKER_03:No.
SPEAKER_04:You know, we're you know, we want to be able to essentially normalize it to be able to talk about it because we know it's happening, so that way people don't have to feel like they live in the shadows if they're struggling.
SPEAKER_03:And it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay to ask for help, and it's okay to reach out to you outside your village or within your village because there is someone else struggling or dealing with the same thing that you're dealing with as a parent or as an adult. And there's a lot of nonprofits out there that are being built and that are still new today that are about a year old that are out there for us for kid our kids even to call, to talk to somebody, you know.
SPEAKER_06:Just take action as what take action.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06:Don't put it off. There's no mistake you can make when you're seeking help. No, but the mistake is to not seek help. Yeah, with that being said, you guys, I am grateful for your courage and your this is probably one of the hardest podcasts I've ever had to go through. I'm close to your family. I've had my own battles, you know, with this, and I think this makes it real. And you guys are real people, you're a real Midwestern family. I can't wait to share this with the world.
SPEAKER_04:Well, thank you for allowing us to be on the platform. And thank you, everybody, for that are that's gonna watch this. Like it really means a lot, and you know, I hope that it's helpful for someone.
SPEAKER_01:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_06:And we'll we'll we'll do an update, uh, an update in the future. But God bless you guys. God bless your family.
SPEAKER_01:God bless you.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks for tuning in to the connection. It's been a fantastic journey exploring stories, insights, and inspirations that bridge our lives. Remember, every connection has the power to transform. Please subscribe, rate, and review. Your feedback keeps us going. In this connected world, let's make meaningful connections that enrich lives. Now, signing off until next time, the connection. Keep connecting and let's go.